Around the HIV/AIDs crisis, some LGBT people slowly began reclaiming the word "queer," hence its addition to the acronym still, even within the community, there are mixed feelings about the word, and a lot of people strongly oppose it. Throughout the 20th century, "queer" was often used as a slur for LGBTQ people. "This means you can have a queer sexual orientation, gender identity, gender or sexual expression, romantic orientation, and more." "Queer" Is Still Considered Offensive By SomeĪs empowering as queer's meaning is today, it has a dark history. "Rather than allowing for only two seemingly opposite - or binary - genders of men and women, or two sexes of male and female, queerness expands the possibilities for multiple genders, sexes, sexualities, expressions, identities - and beyond," Madrone says. Being genderqueer isn't limited to what you look like, or how you physically present. Just as "queer" can mean different things to different people, so too can identifying as genderqueer. It's not for anyone else to decide whether someone is "queer enough." Queerness Can Encompass Both Sexuality And Gender Identity "Being queer does not mean that someone cannot be involved in a heterosexual relationship" or be attracted to people of a different gender. "Some queer individuals may also experience internalized oppression if they believe that queerness is limited to those who experience same-sex or same-gender attraction," Madrone adds. Whether someone is in a same-sex relationship, a different gender one, or another arrangement, and no matter what their gender identity might be, their identity is their identity. "Identity tends to be more stable, but the expression of it in terms of who you are romantically or sexually attracted to, who you date, who you have sex with, etc., can be very fluid and doesn’t change your underlying identity." "There are many people who mistakenly think that identity is contingent on your current relationship, and it absolutely isn’t," Canonico says.
![queer gay definition queer gay definition](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/fd/LGBTQ%2B_rainbow_flag_Quasar_"Progress"_variant.svg/1200px-LGBTQ%2B_rainbow_flag_Quasar_"Progress"_variant.svg.png)
![queer gay definition queer gay definition](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/0vv8moc6/psychtimes/32aa5714af1708514795cbb3ed7f077cf72eef8a-1000x1075.gif)
If you identify as queer, this doesn't suddenly change or shift based on who you date. Your Queer Identity Doesn't Change Based On Who You Date.Here are five important things to know about the Q in LGBTQ.
![queer gay definition queer gay definition](https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/50919121368_f72a1fc7f2.jpg)
At the end of the day, though, there is no right or wrong way to be queer, and it's OK to identify with queerness on your own terms, even if it doesn't look or feel the same as someone else's definition. The choice to be "out" as queer can depend on a lot of factors, from personal preference to safety. Just as being queer can mean different things to different people, folks have all sorts of ways of expressing their queerness, too. "Therefore, claiming a “queer” identity allows for an unlimited, personalized and unfolding experience of being, feeling, and expressing queerness," Madrone says.
![queer gay definition queer gay definition](https://www.cjr.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/AdobeStock_211427475-1300x500.jpeg)
"Queer allows you to connect with the LGBTQ community without having to 'pick a box.' Queer encourages respect of the fluidity of sexuality and gender, allows room for evolution and growth, and acknowledges that attraction - both romantic and sexual - exists both in and outside of those labels."Īs Satori Madrone, a sexuality, gender, and relationship therapist and educator, tells Bustle, some people experience "multiple ways of being queer, including sexual, gender, or relationship fluidity," instead of identifying with just one dimension of the LGBTQ experience. "Simply, 'queer' signifies that someone is not straight and/or not cisgender," Lauren Canonico, a New York City-based, LGBTQ+ affirming psychotherapist, tells Bus tle. With all of this in mind, it's clear that there's a lot to unpack in those five letters. Still, others do not use "queer" for themselves at all. On the flip side, however, there are many people in the LGBTQ community who choose to use the word "queer" over established labels or emerging ones like pansexual, demisexual, or others. As is the case with many identifying labels, being queer can mean different things to different people for example, when I refer to "being queer" myself, I am referring to being part of the greater LGBTQ community - that is, I personally identify as a lesbian, but I also identify with the community as a whole. But while many people both outside and within the LGBTQ community are familiar with the terms lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender, fewer people are familiar with what the term "queer" means. Within the LGBTQ community, there's a lot of discussion about what exactly the acronym and its variations mean and why we use them.